The mother was filmed with the baby seconds before his dеаth
The woman with her own hands disconnected the child from the artificial respiration apparatus.
A heartbroken mother shared a photo of a heartbreaking moment as she carries her terminally ill son down the hallway to say goodbye to him forever.
39-year-old Tammy Aireson from a small English town has done what many mothers could not. Realizing that her 4-month-old son Wilber was doomed to suffering, she disconnected him from the life support machine.
With this photo, she wanted to support other parents who have lost a child. And also to show that even after such grief, you can find a way to live on …
Before pregnancy, Tammy suffered from a severe stage of endometriosis (a disease in which tissue from the inner layers of the uterine wall grows outside of it). The woman was already sent for removal of the uterus, when suddenly she found out that she was pregnant.
“With the father of the child, Mark, we met for only three months. I was worried about what my boyfriend would say, but I knew for sure that I would give birth, no matter what. Because my pregnancy was a miracle. Fortunately, Mark supported my decision,” recalls Tammy.
Future parents were waiting for the baby with pleasant excitement, but at the 20th week during the screening, it turned out that the child could not unbend the arms. The woman refused to analyze the pathology of the fetus, because to take the material would have to pierce the fetal bladder.
It is not known whether it will be possible to carry the pregnancy after this. In addition, Tammy decided that with any diagnosis she would give birth.
“The Wilber in my stomach barely moved, but I felt him rolling in response to my strokes. The connection between us was strong from the very beginning, Tammy says. — Doctors repeatedly asked me if I wanted to terminate the pregnancy, but every time I refused.
I already loved him so much that I believed he deserved at least a short life.
The doctors did not give good prognosis, and I did not want my son to suffer. But I also hoped that one day I would still be able to bring it home.”
The pregnancy was difficult, and at the 32nd week the woman had an emergency caesarean. The born baby could not breathe, so he was immediately taken to intensive care.
“We didn’t know if he would make it through his first night, but he did it,” says Wilber’s mom. “Every day he got stronger.”
Doctors later made a diagnosis: the boy was born with a rare gene mutation that caused congenital myopathy (muscle dystrophy) and severe arthrogryposis (underdevelopment of the joints, deformity of the arms and legs).
Wilber’s muscles were so weak that he could neither move nor even breathe on his own. The child needed round-the-clock supervision.
“Wilber couldn’t move his arms or legs, but after a course of physical therapy, he began to move a little,” says Tammy. “During the few weeks that Wilber was in the hospital, we developed a strong bond. My boy loved it when I stroked his back, gave him a massage.
I loved him so much and felt how much he loves me back. The nurses joked: they always knew when Wilber wanted something: he looked at them so intently that they could feel the power of his gaze across the room.
However, Wilber never saw his house. 12 weeks after birth, the baby’s heart suddenly stopped. And although the baby was pumped out, the brain was severely damaged due to lack of oxygen.
The mother watched in despair as the doctors tried to save her son.
He eventually came to, but as soon as I opened my eyes, I realized that my little boy was no more. His gaze was blank. He no longer recognized me, did not respond to my touches. Our connection has been lost.
The doctors advised the mother to give the child time. They still hoped that the baby would get better. However, two weeks later it became clear that the damage was irreversible.
Realizing how her son was suffering, Tammy made the difficult decision to take her son off life support. On that day, a team of doctors helped the couple move to a separate room to say goodbye to their son. Then that photo was taken.
“That day, for the first time since Wilber was born, I was able to take him for a walk. But when I walked with him along the corridor of the hospital, I realized that this was our first and last walk. I couldn’t help it and cried. That’s when Mark took that photo.»
The woman admitted that she decided in advance to take as many farewell shots with her son as possible.
“Yes, these moments will be painful to remember, but not having photos of every precious last minute with our son would be infinitely worse,” she explained.
Tammy hugged and comforted the baby, sang to him and whispered that he was not afraid.
And when the child was disconnected from the apparatus, she put her already lifeless son in a stroller and took him for a walk near the hospital. Tammy smiled for a photo, posing with her son, and inside she was heartbroken.
“It was the first time I was able to photograph Wilber’s face without tubes and wires,” she says.
Now those pictures are in pride of place in Tammy and Mark’s house. Every evening, candles are lit near the photographs in memory of Wilber.
In addition to a photo in memory of the baby, Tammy left a plush elephant with a record of her son’s heartbeat inside, prints of his arms and legs, and a tiny tuft of hair.
A small handful of ashes — what is left of Wilber, the unfortunate woman carries with her on holidays and walks, and even puts it on the table during festive dinners. So Tammy wants to show that Wilber remains a part of her life.
“Grief for a lost child will never lessen, but somehow we become stronger to bear it,” says the mother of the baby. “Not an hour goes by that I don’t think about what our future with Wilber would be like. But I’m so grateful for the weeks I spent with him when I felt his warmth.»
After this tragedy, Tammy decided not to give up and is determined to get pregnant again.
“Before I had Wilber, I thought that I could no longer have children, I was already preparing for the removal of the uterus. Therefore, I am so grateful to my son: he helped me understand that I should not give up this dream.
